This is an idea I got from the blog of a friend of mine. It’s a meme of sorts where I address a few people in my life as honestly as I can. I won’t mention who these people are, but I will say what I really think about them. Some of you might get paranoid when you read this, but I want you to know that if you think it’s you, chances are, it isn’t.
xxx. We used to be friends back then. We used to hang out a lot. You even came over to our house a couple of times. You were like me, a nerd, and we got along great. But over the years, I don’t know, you’ve changed. As far as I know we had no fights or misunderstandings or anything like that so I have no idea why we don’t speak anymore. I called your house and talked to your mom and you didn’t return my call. I emailed you a several times and you didn’t even reply. 10 years ago I saw you at this thing and I was with Whilce Portacio. You greeted Whilce but you didn’t greet me. Why, is it because you’re famous now, is that it? You’re famous now so you don’t know me anymore? Fame? What the fuck is that? You still shit and fart like everyone else. Thanks very much for teaching me an example of who I shouldn’t be when it comes to old friends.
xxx. I thought you were incredibly nice. We had a date, but not really. I wasn’t interested in you romantically. But I thought you could have been a good friend. And because I said something innocent, something no sane and stable person would get mad over, you bit my head off, dropped the f bomb, and told me never to speak to you again. I thought, what the fuck? How can you get angry over that? It’s like I killed your cat and massacred your family, the way you talked to me. Nothing I said warranted the reaction I got from you. People tell me to get over it. But how can I? How can I forgive someone who has never said sorry? I’m a person who carry grudges. I let it go once there’s an apology. In that case I’m quick to forgive. But in the absence of it, I never forgive, and I never forget. I no longer dwell on you and what you did. I hardly ever think of you at all. But everytime someone mentions you, I have nothing but hard feelings.
xxx.I thought you were a nice guy. We were friends and we shared a lot of interests. What I didn’t realize was how superior you felt over me. When our boss asked me to tell you what was wrong with the work you were doing, you said something to me that destroyed our friendship for all time. You bared to me, in that moment of honesty, what you really thought of me. I realized, much to my chagrin, that the person I knew for all those years was just a front.
xxx. You’re one of the nicest, most intelligent guys I know. And for some reason I keep failing you, regardless of what I do. It happens over and over again and over and over again you forgive me. I understand if the last time broke the camel’s back and I understand if no longer speak to me. But I want you to know that I’m truly and absolutely sorry. There’s really nothing else for me to say.
xxx. It would have been great. And you were so incredibly nice. And I’d like to think that we were close. We shared a lot of things. A lot of secrets we didn’t tell anyone else. I didn’t have a girlfriend and I could have fallen for you hard. But you were distracted. And in all honesty, so was I. You had a life there, and I had a life here. I’m as much to blame for us drifting apart. Thinking back on it, your life is so different from mine. But I am glad we’re still friends.
xxx. I’m sorry for making you disillusioned with me, the creator of Wasted, when you came up to me asking me what my favorite music was and expecting me to say something like Nine Inch Nails I said “Carpenters” instead. I can see the life disappear from your face. What can I do? I was just being honest. I really do love the Carpenters.
xxx. Yes, I owe you something. And I owe you something. I appreciate all the understanding and help. Rest assured I never forget my obligations and promises. I implore for a little bit more understanding as I pull myself from this hole I find myself in, and will fulfull all my promises and obligations as soon as I can.