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Oct

30

Honestly…

Filed Under General | 21 Comments

This is an idea I got from the blog of a friend of mine. It’s a meme of sorts where I address a few people in my life as honestly as I can. I won’t mention who these people are, but I will say what I really think about them. Some of you might get paranoid when you read this, but I want you to know that if you think it’s you, chances are, it isn’t.

xxx. We used to be friends back then. We used to hang out a lot. You even came over to our house a couple of times. You were like me, a nerd, and we got along great. But over the years, I don’t know, you’ve changed. As far as I know we had no fights or misunderstandings or anything like that so I have no idea why we don’t speak anymore. I called your house and talked to your mom and you didn’t return my call. I emailed you a several times and you didn’t even reply. 10 years ago I saw you at this thing and I was with Whilce Portacio. You greeted Whilce but you didn’t greet me. Why, is it because you’re famous now, is that it? You’re famous now so you don’t know me anymore? Fame? What the fuck is that? You still shit and fart like everyone else. Thanks very much for teaching me an example of who I shouldn’t be when it comes to old friends.

xxx. I thought you were incredibly nice. We had a date, but not really. I wasn’t interested in you romantically. But I thought you could have been a good friend. And because I said something innocent, something no sane and stable person would get mad over, you bit my head off, dropped the f bomb, and told me never to speak to you again. I thought, what the fuck? How can you get angry over that? It’s like I killed your cat and massacred your family, the way you talked to me. Nothing I said warranted the reaction I got from you. People tell me to get over it. But how can I? How can I forgive someone who has never said sorry? I’m a person who carry grudges. I let it go once there’s an apology. In that case I’m quick to forgive. But in the absence of it, I never forgive, and I never forget. I no longer dwell on you and what you did. I hardly ever think of you at all. But everytime someone mentions you, I have nothing but hard feelings.

xxx.I thought you were a nice guy. We were friends and we shared a lot of interests. What I didn’t realize was how superior you felt over me. When our boss asked me to tell you what was wrong with the work you were doing, you said something to me that destroyed our friendship for all time. You bared to me, in that moment of honesty, what you really thought of me. I realized, much to my chagrin, that the person I knew for all those years was just a front.

xxx. You’re one of the nicest, most intelligent guys I know. And for some reason I keep failing you, regardless of what I do. It happens over and over again and over and over again you forgive me. I understand if the last time broke the camel’s back and I understand if no longer speak to me. But I want you to know that I’m truly and absolutely sorry. There’s really nothing else for me to say.

xxx. It would have been great. And you were so incredibly nice. And I’d like to think that we were close. We shared a lot of things. A lot of secrets we didn’t tell anyone else. I didn’t have a girlfriend and I could have fallen for you hard. But you were distracted. And in all honesty, so was I. You had a life there, and I had a life here. I’m as much to blame for us drifting apart. Thinking back on it, your life is so different from mine. But I am glad we’re still friends.

xxx. I’m sorry for making you disillusioned with me, the creator of Wasted, when you came up to me asking me what my favorite music was and expecting me to say something like Nine Inch Nails I said “Carpenters” instead. I can see the life disappear from your face. What can I do? I was just being honest. I really do love the Carpenters.

xxx. Yes, I owe you something. And I owe you something. I appreciate all the understanding and help. Rest assured I never forget my obligations and promises. I implore for a little bit more understanding as I pull myself from this hole I find myself in, and will fulfull all my promises and obligations as soon as I can.

Comments

21 Responses to “Honestly…”

  1. Ed on October 30th, 2008 2:39 pm

    Second to the last…sya ba yung iniisip ko? Hehe. :D

  2. Mike on October 30th, 2008 4:08 pm

    Just wondering, is one of them, Whilce?

  3. kc cordero on October 30th, 2008 4:56 pm

    gerry,
    the ‘Wasted’ fanboy should have realized that you are an architect in the first place and that’s the reason why you love the, uh, ‘Carpenters’. Hehehe.
    You’re on ‘emo’ mode. alam mo bang manifestation ‘yan kapag sobra-sobra ang flow ng creative juices? :)

  4. Gerry Alanguilan on October 30th, 2008 5:31 pm

    KC… emo mode? ano yun?

  5. kc cordero on October 30th, 2008 8:58 pm

    emo = emotional

    :)

  6. Rod Samonte on October 30th, 2008 10:22 pm

    Gerry,
    Ma-drama. Hehehe. May mga tinamaan ano?
    Rod

  7. Azrael on October 31st, 2008 12:40 am

    wow..pwede pala mag post ng pic sa comments.

  8. leinil on October 31st, 2008 1:33 am

    hey, are we allowed to guess? btw, ger, 5 more and you could complete a horoscope, deadheart style. Instead of “predictions”, you could do more of these things.

  9. Rod Samonte on October 31st, 2008 5:00 am

    Gerry,
    Onga, pwede palang mag-post ng pics. Can anybody do it o ikaw lang? Nice B&W pic though, exactly right for the “emo” mood of this thread.
    Rod

  10. Gerry Alanguilan on October 31st, 2008 8:14 am

    Rod, Az… pwede! Basta gamit lang kayo ng standard html code sa pag post ng pics.

    Nil, you can guess, but I will neither confirm nor deny. :) Mahirap na, baka sa pag sabi ko nang “no it’s not him/her”, baka mahulaan through process of elimination. he.he.

  11. romiworks® on October 31st, 2008 9:41 am

    Sino kaya yon??? hehe – parang nakita ko si Ed sa Megamall di ko alam kung siya yon papuntang comic quest e.

  12. Jose Mari Lee on October 31st, 2008 9:51 am

    Hey, Leinil:

    I’m vacationing right now but I picked up some copies of the Fall Issue of the Comic-Con magazine and you’ve been featured there. You seem to really look young there, though. Baka old photo mo ang ginamit nila. Mukhang may gatas ka pa sa labi dito, when in fact, BEER at LAMBANOG na yata ang nasa labi mo ngayon. LOL.

  13. Rod Samonte on October 31st, 2008 11:59 am

    Thanks Gerry.

  14. Ed on October 31st, 2008 5:18 pm

    @Romiworks – Kelan mo ako nakita sa megamall? Baka clone ko yun. Hehehe.

    Gerry, bulong mo sa ‘kin kung sino-sino sila pag nagkita tayo. Wehehe. Joke.

  15. romiworks® on October 31st, 2008 7:31 pm

    Ed palagay ko ikaw yun Oct 23 kagagaling ko lang China sinubukan ko nga palang kunan kita ng PDA ko hehe

    *Romi, di pwede ang IMG code. Dapat html code, yun img src=* – Gerry :D

  16. Gerry Alanguilan on October 31st, 2008 7:38 pm

    Yung ulo parang si Ed. Pero parang ang laki ng katawan. Ed, tumataba ka ba? O nagwowork out? Naks!

  17. romiworks® on October 31st, 2008 7:47 pm

    Thanks ka gerry at musta na rin sa iyo abangan ko Elmer 4 para makumpleto ko na koleksyon ko ng elmer – para tuloy akong paparazzi kinukunan ko si ed sabi nga ng asawa ko “sino ba kinukunan mo?” hehe.

  18. Reno on November 1st, 2008 10:58 am

    Don’t worry Gerry. You’re not alone in your love for The Carpenters. :)

  19. Gerry Alanguilan on November 1st, 2008 11:45 am

    Nakakainlove ang boses ni Karen e. :D

  20. Ed on November 1st, 2008 12:09 pm

    Haha! Ako nga yan. That day I met up with my fiancee’s sister. May binigay lang that afternoon.

    Gerry, I gained a bit of weight…I do some push-ups and dumbells.

  21. auggie on November 2nd, 2008 10:55 am

    Gerry,

    Why ,what’s wrong with the Carpenters ? gusto ko rin yung the Carpenters, but at the same time gusto ko rin yung Allman Brothers Band, The Doors, Jimi Hendrix, Ry Cooder, Robert Johnson, Miles Davis, Chick Corea, Mongo Santamaria, Antonio Carlos Jobim, Tower of Power, Cold Blood, Grateful Dead. It’s more of diversity of musical tastes, di ba ?