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May 28, 2014

Filed Under General | 20 Comments

momavengers

My mom passed away on May 28, 2014. I made a note of it in the panel of this Avengers page I was inking at the time. I wrote the date and the time of her passing.

She had been feeling somewhat sick for a week, but we all thought it was just one of those things she experienced from time to time. We believed she would eventually get better, and that she would eventually go back to her gardening and things would be OK.

She went for a check up on the morning of that day and her lab results showed she was low on hemoglobin. Her doctor, who also happens to be my doctor, recommended she be admitted so she can have a transfusion. She was in the middle of the transfusion when she suddenly had a cardiac arrest. It was 9:15pm. My dad was there, but I was at home.

Ilyn and I rushed to the hospital to see my mom being given CPR as she was being wheeled to the ICU. Dad was standing there, shell shocked, not knowing what to do. He felt as helpless as I did. We were called up to the ICU where the doctor greeted us. He told us mom was gone. Just like that.

I’m trying to remember what I felt at that moment. I felt, I don’t know, blank? Like I was speechless in my mind. The doctor was talking but all I heard were words. My mind was somewhere else. I sat down. My dad seemed to be in denial. He was talking about other things, trying not to get to grips with what just happened. I tried to convince myself I was dreaming, that I needed to wake up. I wanted to wake up. I asked Ilyn if I was dreaming, and she said that I wasn’t.

I didn’t cry then. That came later on the car on the way to the funeral home to pick a casket. I just let go. I had to let it go. I knew I couldn’t keep it inside. I worried for my dad who still seemed to be denying it to himself. I wanted to see him cry, I wanted to see him let go because then I knew he was starting to really deal with it. He eventually did. As I did.

My mom was a very strong character. We frequently butted heads all throughout my life, but it was nothing acrimonious or long lasting. We disagreed on a lot of things. She wanted me to be an Architect. She frequently meddled in my love life. She would often burst into my room and pick at things. But she was ultimately supportive of my choices, as much as she grieved over some of the decisions I made in life.

She didn’t want me to be an artist at first. And it was the source of a lot of our contention. I stuck to what I wanted, and I eventually won her over when I started to make money from my art and my comics. I guess that’s what she always wanted. For me to be able to support myself. I only had to prove I could do it, no matter what I did.

I knew my mom was proud of me and my accomplishments. And I’m so happy she got to see the things I’ve done with my little comics. I can’t forget how happy she was when my Elmer won those awards and how it allowed me to travel the world. I can’t forget how happy she was during the Supercrooks signing with Mark Millar.

mommillar

And when Rodski Patotski: Ang Dalagang Baby came out, it made me so happy that my mom sat down to read the entire book non stop in one sitting and she told me that she liked it.

I wish I could have said goodbye. I wish I could have said that I loved her one last time.

I couldn’t talk about this online when it happened. I didn’t want to post about it on Facebook or on Twitter. I don’t know. I just didn’t want to. But I did let close friends know and that was enough for me. I’m so thankful for those who sent me messages and to those who came and visited and be with us during that difficult time. I’m not the friendliest person around, but I’m grateful to the friends that I do have.

Comments

20 Responses to “May 28, 2014”

  1. Auggie on July 4th, 2014 11:31 pm

    Condolence Gerry for the demise of your Mother. I thought all the while the month of May was all okay.I was in San Pablo in May, to attend a funeral vigil of my late classmate and even ask directions from you…

  2. Francis on July 5th, 2014 12:29 am

    Nakikiramay po ako sa iyo at sa iyong pamilya!

  3. Joanah T.C. on July 5th, 2014 9:20 am

    Our Condolences to you and your family.

  4. Pat on July 5th, 2014 1:17 pm

    Condolences, Sir Gerry.

  5. Paul Garcia on July 6th, 2014 2:58 am

    Nakikiramay po kami, maestro Gerry. Lubos kong naunawaan ang inyong ugnayan at pagmamahal ng isang anak sa kanyang ina. Opo, maraming pagkakataong nagtatalo sa mga bagay-bagay ang ina’t mga anak (ako rin ay ganoon, maestro. Maniwala kayo). Ngunit sa huli, hindi pa rin maipapalit ang bukod tanging babaeng nagluwal at nag-aruga sa atin sa mundong yaon–ang INA. Ika nga ng Banal na Kasulatan–Igalang ang mga Magulang. Kahit nagkamali sila sa mga mata ng mga anak, magulang pa rin sila, TULDOK. Muli, nakikiramay po kami sa inyo po, maestro.

  6. Dell Barras on July 7th, 2014 2:56 am

    Condolence,Gerry.I had the same feelings one year ago today,when my Mother passed away in new Jersey.It HURT so much!!!! i couldnt let go…until now.But i have to move on…im not the same though.Again…condolence…Dell

  7. Ed Tadeo on July 7th, 2014 7:20 am

    Gosh. So sorry, Gerry. That news didn’t come to me.

    I remember your Mom always greet my long hair back then whenever she see me. It was that sweetness smile and then she touched my hair. She’ll be missed.

  8. Fedelynn M. Jemena on July 7th, 2014 6:09 pm

    Condolence po. Not everyone gets the chance to grow up with a parent who loves them.

  9. Randy Santa Ana on July 8th, 2014 5:23 am

    I am very sorry to hear about your great loss, Gerry. My condolences to you and your family.

  10. narj salazar on July 8th, 2014 12:00 pm

    Condolence, Sir Gerry.

  11. John Beatty on July 10th, 2014 12:13 pm

    Gerry-
    I just read this and wanted to say how sorry I am to read about the loss of your mother.

    Prayers for you and your family, especially your dad, at this time.

    Peace be with you, friend.

    - John

  12. Jose Mari Lee on July 19th, 2014 3:38 am

    Hi Gerry:

    I haven’t heard of your mother’s passing, until an FB friend mentioned it to me. Please accept my deepest condolences to you and your loved ones. I am praying for you in this difficult time. May the comfort of God help you during this difficult time and may your mother’s soul rest in peace.

    Also to you, Dell Barras:

    I didn’t know your mom had passed on as well. I know how difficult it is to lose a mother — the most special person in our hearts. Rest assured that our loved ones never really leave us. You will always feel their love even if they’re no longer around physically. They will always be with us.

  13. Gerwin on July 27th, 2014 6:29 am

    my deepest condolences to you and your family, gerry.

  14. Maharlika I. Sofranes on July 27th, 2014 12:54 pm

    Sir, my sincere condolences and prayers to you and your family.

    I lost my dad last Dec. 25, 2013 due to a traffic accident. So I can never look at Christmas the same way again.
    One of the first thing I did when I get home was put all my comic-books and action figures that I have on my shelves to a box.
    Because these “powerful” heroes reminded me of how weak we are, and how real and graphic our mortality is.
    It took me few months before I could pick-up a comic-book again.
    But hey, maybe it’s just me and how I cope with my dad’s death which to this very day, I’m still having a hard time accepting.

    I know how it feels to lose some that you admire, respect, and love.
    It hits your gut so hard you will have no choice but to cry.
    It’s like your first break-up/heartbreak multiplied to a million.

    But don’t fight the sadness. Cry if you need to. Mourn. Pray and lift everything to God.

    Be strong, sir. God bless.

  15. Kc cordero on August 9th, 2014 9:37 pm

    Gerry,
    Ngayon ko lang nabasa, condolence…

  16. J.Gi Federizo on August 10th, 2014 4:25 am

    Hello, Sir.

    Late ko na pala nakita ito, sorry. Pero condolence po. I definitely know how you felt. I’m still not able to post much about my parents’ passing, except to post vids or say something here and there, but the whole experience, no.

    Hang in there, Sir.

  17. Johann Samir Reyes Serafica on August 13th, 2014 7:15 am

    Condelensces sir Gerry,
    Mas sakit ang namatay ang magulang que sa lola lolo. Baka siguro mourning ka ngayon. Dapat mg gawin kang shrine para magulang. Ayos.

    Your friend,
    Johann

  18. Dodo Dayao on August 17th, 2014 2:10 am

    Condolences, Gerry.

  19. Hazel on August 19th, 2014 10:50 am

    Condolence… I seldom visit blogs and just learned this today

  20. Cathy on August 28th, 2014 5:25 pm

    Just saw this Gerry. My condolences to your Family.