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http://www.facebook.com/gerryalanguilan

At the invitation of a friend I joined Facebook a long time ago. After a few months I didn’t like it because people I didn’t like wanted me to add them as my “friend”. I closed my account instead. But disturbingly, even though I had closed my account, I could still activate it if I wanted to. Eventually, I did open it again because I discovered great uses for it.

One is that I could find and get in touch with old friends and classmates I thought I’d never see again. Second is that I could connect with fellow comics pros and it led to a few small little jobs here and there.

But Facebook remains as a networking site and it works as such. People can find me there and add me as a “friend”. “FRIEND” is a term that has come to be bastardized and demeaned in the age of the Internet. Friends no longer meant what it used to, which are people you form close bonds with through shared personal experience. In the Internet age, “friend” can mean as little as adding you on Facebook, whether you truly know this person or not.

I wish I can decline requests, but with me being in the line of work I am, there is a great possibility that I have met these people before, but I just forgot. It’s a difficult situation to be in. Because of my work, more people get to know who I am and what I do than what I would normally occur had I remained working in an architecture office. I meet a lot of people at conventions and similar occasions. The problem with me is that I don’t have that excellent of a memory. I tend to forget a lot of things, and tend to forget to have met many people I come across. Who knows, it may well be them knocking on my Facebook door.

So I pretty much add everyone. With a few exceptions.

1. I don’t add people who don’t have profile pictures. It’s like you coming up to me asking to be my friend but you’ve got a bag over your head. Or maybe you’re wearing someone else’s face. or maybe your face is a drawing. It’s annoying. Sorry guys. You can see my profile picture. I think it’s only fair that I see yours.

2. I don’t add people with fake names. Ok, I don’t know if the name you use is fake or not, but if it sounds pretty normal I would add you. But if you’re name is something like Captain Singhot Man or Tyler Durden… come on. How OLD are you? I use my real name. If you want me to add you, it’s only fair I ask the same.

3. I don’t add groups, causes, products, businesses, or characters as FRIENDS. How can I be a friend to something that isn’t even human? If you have a personal account, that’s what you use to add me, and *WE* can be friends. Don’t add me to be a friend to your creations. That’s what groups and fan profiles are for. Create a group, create a fan profile. If I like the group and if I’m a fan of your creation, I’ll add myself.

4. Don’t ask me or anyone else to become a fan of YOU. That’s just pathetic and desperate.

5. I don’t add politicians. Or anyone campaigning to run for whatever. I’ll speak with my vote. I prefer not to align myself with anyone publicly. My political choice is my own private matter.

And within Facebook itself, I should let you know of things that I do.

1. I’m an UNTAGGER. Tag me to your photos, drawings, notes all you like, but if it has nothing to do with me, I’ll untag myself. Imagine this: If you post a picture of yourself posing naked on the beach and tag my name into it because you want me to see it, this is what happens: . If a bunch of your friends comment on it, I get a bunch of email notifications from people I don’t know, filling my inbox with messages that has absolutely nothing to do with me.

One time I woke up to see nearly a hundred freakin’ Facebook notifications on my email, produced by people tagging my name to their images, with a bunch of their friends commenting, cracking jokes, fighting. Right in my inbox, for goodness’ sake!

Your photos then gets posted on my wall . They get posted in “Photos of me”. If my real friends check my “Photos of me”, they’ll see you posing naked on the beach and wonder what the hell that picture is doing there. You don’t have to do that. If you post a photo of yourself naked on the beach, I promise you, I can FIND it. :)

2. I usually don’t add people you recommend me to add via Facebook, specially if I don’t even know you to begin with. If I don’t know them, and you want me to meet them, please introduce me first rather than just asking me to add them right away. To me it feels weird.

I think I’m fulfilling my new year’s resolution to be a bit nastier rather well.

Comments

5 Responses to “Facebook and ME”

  1. Cev Ruiz on January 12th, 2010 10:57 am

    sir gerry, you can switch off email notification so that facebook doesn’t swamp your mail with useless notifications.

    if i really don’t want someone to be a “friend” on facebook i just leave their request alone. if i really hate someone and that person is sending a request to be a friend, i out right ignore the request.

    have fun. :)

  2. Gerry Alanguilan on January 12th, 2010 11:03 am

    If I switch off notification, then I would be switching off notification from others things I want to be informed about, diba? Quite a handful, this facebook. I have like more than 20 people in my list of pending friend requests. I can’t click ignore because then they would try to add me again.

  3. Ed on January 12th, 2010 5:50 pm

    I’m so glad I still don’t have one. I don’t know, maybe because my wife already have one and I don’t see the point of having my own.

    I agree to see old friends that you haven’t seen for ages. But yeah, sometimes they don’t seem to be the same friends like they were back then. I experienced it in Friendster. They just want to add you and don’t even reply to your message asking how are they doing.

    In the end you have to get rid of them from the list coz they’re no means to you now. :)

  4. Ryan Parreno on January 13th, 2010 10:05 pm

    Well, Facebook’s recently taken the move to remove privacy settings in an attempt to monetize their social network. You have to take the effort to reconfigure all your settings everywhere to get all your privacy back.

    What I’d done & you may want to try is make lists or groups for all my friends, so that I can choose who has access to what. One positive out of all this is you can set privacy for each and every one of the things you do on Facebook, whether it’s a post, a linkshare, a like, a Superpoke, a game status update, etc.

    Also, this is why my Facebook info is all fake to begin with.

  5. kristine on January 20th, 2010 6:12 pm

    hmmm…it seems that fb only gave you(or atleast gave you more)bad experiences than having nice and good communication networking…But!i do agree to what you said,,,

    about the meaning of Friend,i think that it depends only on how you interpret it…is not that everyone is like or do things in the description you said… =< it kinda embarrass me cause the truth is that i want to add you too to fb!!hehehe,hy… =< ofcourse not to be a fan etc. tag etc. politics etc….but because i like komiks,manga,anime and i do respect you and the work you do….that i saw in an interview posted in youtube….hehehe…if i'm not mistaking! 0.0!

    anyway,im intimidated enough to do not do so…
    and for respect,i'll try to bother you less about this =3

    -erase-erase-erase-